Koi Hime Musou: Doki Otome Darake no Sangokushi Engi with Voice (check out the iOS version here, also, these long ass names are killing me) arrives on Android in this sensationalized and sexy take on the classical Chinese Three Kingdoms period of history. This series began on the PC but has now migrated into the realm of smartphones.
Regardless of making the jump to handhelds, this game sports a "not suitable for minors" warning in both Google Play and the App Store. Why? Because this game pushes the limits, as evidenced by the screenshot below...
Crazy anime hair: check. Unnecessary underboob: check. Gratuitous butt crack: check.
In order to get a full sense of what this game is about, we're gonna have to play it. I'm familiar with other Three Kingdoms adaptation games and know a good deal of the history, but this is my first go at a Koi Hime Musou game. So I started up this game with a heart full of expectation and anticipation.
Basic gameplay follows your usual text-driven adventure game style.
There's a lot of reading involved, but a happy surprise is that all female characters and some male characters have full voice recordings for their lines. The game also features a pretty high quality opening movie to introduce you to the story. Pretty good for a smartphone game, eh? The downside, of course, is that this game eats up a gig of storage on your phone.
The most important part of this type of game is the story, so lets take a closer look at the game's storytelling. The premise of the story involves a college student who knows a lot about martial arts who somehow time travels back to the Three Kingdoms period in China. When he awakes, he finds himself stripped of all his possessions and surrounded by Yellow Turban soldiers (rebel forces fighting against the Imperial Court).
And just when it seems like there's no way to escape, a beautiful, mysteriously buxom young girl saves him (you) from his captors. Who is this mystery lady of history?
Why, it's none other than famed old guy Guan Yu! Turned into a girl! Here's his pic courtesy of Wikipedia:
Guan Yu makes appearances in other Three Kingdoms games and is quite a powerful dude, and sure enough he is responsible in part for putting down the Yellow Turban rebels.
Who might this other girl be?
Zhang Fei?! This guy?!
Naturally, in Japan, that glorious land where the weirdos rule popular media, every idea, company, website, and old dude gets their own idealized girl caricature. Some may be thinking, "That's not the Zhang Fei that I know...," but I say to you, "Get off your damn high horse and appreciate the originality and creativity that went into turning that old dude into such an attractive young lady." Would this game be nearly as interesting with the same characters everyone knows and are used to?
To get a glimpse of Japan in all its perverted glory, go ahead, do an image search of 関羽 (NSFW), the Japanese spelling of Zhang Fei. But don't say I didn't warn you.
Anyway, back to the game. The main character takes a position similar to that of Liu Bei, famous compatriot of Guan Yu and Zhang Fei. Not letting anyone fall victim to the Yellow Turbans, the 3 of you head off to protect a village from an attack.
So now is your first time to face off with the Yellow Turban fighters. What kind of awesome, action-packed fight awaits?
What happened?! We went from an adventure game to a battle simulation strategy game! Didn't see that genre hop coming.
Think you need a tutorial? Too bad, there's none to be found. So I start the battle, with no idea what I'm doing, and somehow manage to win. Looks like the first battle is pretty easy. I can tell the future battles won't be so easy. Someone give me an instruction manual.
So I've played this far, and all the text and graphics and stuff are pretty good for a port. It's quite well made. At 1,200 yen, it's a bit expensive, but sports a level of quality that matches its price point.
For those of you only vaguely familiar with the Three Kingdoms, you'll probably enjoy this game more than those who are completely in the dark. Much thanks should also be given to the developers for giving us such an enjoyable and arousing experience on our smartphones.
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Time played: About 2 hours
Device used: Galaxy S3 (SC-06D)
Publisher: ID corp.
Last updated: 9/28/2012
Price: 1,200 yen
Compatibility: Android 2.3 and higher
Translation by Jason Morgan